Well, I wasn't delusional, nor was it an April Fool's Day joke. Just found out that the segment I taped for the Late Late Show on April 1 will air this Tuesday, May 12. I figure there may be more than a few people tuning in--model Paulina Porizkova is the main guest.
While some of you FOPs followed the escapade via my Tweets that day on Twitter (as if people "Tweet" anywhere else), here are a couple of other behind-the-scenes insights accompanied by these superb photos from celebrity portrait photog Francis Specker.
First of all, I must admit that--despite my wardrobe--my appearance was somewhat subdued and understated throughout the entire seven-minute sit-down (and when I say seven minutes, I mean seven--there was a timer that read 6:59 the second I turned the corner from backstage onto the set).
I had a few Surprises up my sleeve, but Craig was so over-the-top on his introduction of yours truly (repeatedly flinging the book directly into the camera lens and shouting "Pow!", see below), any craziness on my part would be construed as overkill. A quiet Andy? Perhaps that was the greatest Surprise of all...
Given that he kept the book on his desk throughout the interview, read from it, showed pictures from it, well...how could I possibly out-promote that? I simply answered his questions, reminisced about times we spent together...and cringed when I realized that I had left my fly open (just before going on stage, I debated whether to enjoy a last-minute pee, or let the bladder tension keep me on edge throughout the seven minutes. In retrospect, perhaps I should've held it in...).
Craig's guest who taped immediately prior to me was actress Jennifer Tilly. And speaking about "over-the-top," it was a miracle that perky, bouncy Jenn managed to stay within hers for a full seven minutes.
Craig couldn't help but fixate on her cleavage (to see why, look to your left), a valley of puffy, undulating flesh which would've sent his show directly to pay cable had it plunged a millimeter lower.
Following her, what I thought of doing was stuffing my shirt to mountainous proportions for my walk-on, which I think would've brought down the house...but would've also been irrelevant to a TV audience since our air-dates were weeks apart. Damn that time delay!
One of Craig Ferguson's trademarks is the hand-written note he leaves in each guest's dressing room prior to their appearance. Mine read (and I quote):
Somehow, I don't think he wrote the same thing to Reverend Desmond Tutu, but then again, that's the liberty you can take with someone who you know for over 20 years.
Ever wonder what goes on just before someone goes on? About a minute before, you get a knock on your dressing room door (mine came from Jeff, the show's guest-relations guru) and you're met by your segment producer (mine was the ageless, petite Lisa Ammerman).
In a scene reminiscent of The Green Mile, you walk down a corridor to the back of the studio, where you wait on a painted yellow line amongst various electronic gear, wires, ladders and gaffer tape. Just before he introduced me, Craig bounded backstage, gave me a hug and said "This is gonna be a surreal moment for both of us." Seconds later, he was jabbing the camera with my book...and then I heard my name called.
I didn't know much about Martina McBride, the award-winning, chart-owning country singer who also taped a Late Late Show segment that day, but with my tie-dyed t-shirt, overabundance of jewelry and round sungalsses, everyone on set at the show assumed I was with her band.
In fact, when I was introduced to Craig's producer, he asked me what instrument I played. We looked at each other as if each other was crazy until someone pointed out "I think he's 'The Author'."
"The Author." That killed me. I've been called a number of things in my life, but never that...until then.
Wonder what I'll be called tomorrow? ;)