I must admit that I dig Tim Hortons. Go there often, enjoy the coffee, enjoy even more the homespun atmosphere and hardwired interweaving into the cultural fabric of Canada. You're never far from home when you're near a Timmy's.
Like all Canucks with a more-than-modest modicum of national success under its belt, Tim Hortons is trying to crack the American market, and as a patriotic compadre, I wish I could wish them well.
But I'm scared. Here's why:
This one hurts, guys, as you have become a deserved and much beloved icon above the 49th parallel, but trust me, there is NO WAY you're gonna do it, not a Timbit's chance in a meatgrinder, with a namby-pamby, dull, say-nothing slogan like:
Where Quality Meets Value
I couldn't believe it when I first heard it, thinking that is was some sort of parody or Canada-bashing joke. But no, there it was, confirmed in a somewhat biting article in Brandweek.
Not that "Always Fresh" is a work of creative genius, but "Where Quality Meets Value"? That could be the slogan for 10,000 nondescript, dull, uninspiring businesses, from a corner shoe store to a wholesale meat packing plant. This is the anti-slogan, one which must've been composed by a mole being surreptitiously funded by Dunkin' Donuts, Starbucks or Krispy Kreme...and being high-fived as I write this.
Holy jeez. Someone PLEASE tell me this is some mistake. In the meantime, I think I'll drown my sorrows and say my prayers over a single-single.