I haven't begged you for anything since the release of my Pow! book a year ago, but this is so dopey it's important:
I type this and plan this ambush as my great and good partner Gilbert Rozon boards a plane for a lengthy working sojourn in Edinburgh, Scotland. (That's him above if this thing works.)
Here's the story--given the re-alignment of the Just For Laughs Festival, Gilbert and I have been in deep and spirited conversation all week.
And, given its importance in our future, said conversation always ends up focusing on our digital strategy...to which his parting comment is always:
"Well what do you know? I have more Twitter subscribers than you."
Yes, he calls them "subscribers."
Now, given his finely-honed sense of humor after three decades in the business, I thought he was kidding with that statement the first seven times he said it.
But after the umpteenth verbatim repetition of it, I know he's wasn't. He's dead serious. He thinks that by gathering a whopping total of 2,800-some-odd Twitter followers, he's the digital love child of Aston (@aplusk) Kutcher and Diablo Cody (given that he knew who either one was...but I digress).
Truth be told, the reaping and sowing of Twitter followers has not been one of my obsessions.
So, I'm not proud.
I'm getting down on my knees and begging you to help me show him up.
I'm begging you to please follow me on Twitter, and tell everyone you can to do the same.
I need you to help me return sanity to the conversation, and eliminate Gilbert's ridiculous blanket statements.
I promise I'll be worth your attention and time. I'll Tweet more often, be witty, follow more of you, respond quicker, give you insider dirt...name your price!
As Bugs Bunny so profoundly said: "Of course you realize, this means war."
And war it must be. Just look at Gilbert on his Twitter pic--wearing an army helmet, for Crissakes!
Help me bring him down to size!
What's this shallow victory worth?
One thousand charitable bucks.
Yup, I'll donate a buck to a worthwhile charity for every follower I have more than Gilbert, up to 1,000 of 'em, and post the receipt in this here blog.
I thank you. Reason thanks you. A charity thanks you.
And so will Festival-goers throughout the ages.
See you, and about a thousand more, at www.twitter.com/andynulman