Pow! Right Between The Eyes! Andy Nulman's Blog About Surprise

CBS Here I Come--Pow! Goes Wide On Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

Okay, this is big news.

Following in the footsteps of luminaries the likes of Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Paris Hilton, and no other business author ever (uh, I think), I will be taping an appearance on the CBS Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson tomorrow.

Pardon my exuberance, but how cool is that?  Picture me below instead of Reverend Tutu (we're about the same height, but I have more hair and dress a little less conservatively).

So here's what I know:

I am taping alongside the lava-hot Oscar-nominated actress, poker shark and Family Guy voice Jennifer Tilly.

Here's what I don't know:

When it's going to air. 

I'll post the air date, obviously, as soon as I find out myself.  Until then, you can follow my voyage via Twitter tweets: @andynulman

Now, the most important question...what the hell am I gonna wear?

Malcolm Gladwell vs. Me: Pow! Video #5--The Ultimate Business Book Smackdown

Saved the best, and perhaps the most outrageous Pow! video for last--a head-to-head (quite literally, actually) confrontation between me and Malcolm Gladwell. 

Yup, my little ol' Pow! book goes up against  big bad Outliers in perhaps the toughest arena of them all--an MBA Classroom.  It's me against him...click to see who's the last man standing:

Holy and Inspired

About a decade ago, I used to write a newspaper column called "The Short List." In my fifth one, about how to be truly effective in public protests, I mused:

"Anyone can vandalize an office or lob a Molotov at a cop.  Want people to really pay attention to your grievance?  The get your group to do something really outrageous--like a good deed.  Shovel a path for someone handicapped.  Volunteer at a hospital. Salt the walk outside an old-age home or elementary school.  THAT will get you attention!"

Cut to Louisville, Kentucky last week, and see that I wasn't crazy back then...and certainly am not now.  Check out the picture below, and the following excerpts from an article in Advertising Age:

"In an unusual cause-marketing push, KFC is tackling the pothole problem in Louisville, Ky. in exchange for stamping the fresh pavement with "Re-freshed by KFC," a chalky stencil likely to fade away in the next downpour.

"The company is likely to build a reservoir of goodwill among the general population -- particularly when they arrive at the pothole they've gotten used to swerving around.

"'This program is a perfect example of that rare and optimal occurrence when a company can creatively market itself and help local governments and everyday Americans across the country,' said Javier Benito, exec VP-marketing and food innovation at KFC. 

"The KFC program appears to be part of a growing body of consumer-service marketing that connects in a meaningful way. This past holiday season, Charmin provided a public restroom in Times Square for the third year running.  Samsung has installed electrical charging stations in many major airports to help travelers stay connected while in limbo."

This is simple, cost-effective but insanely effective Pow!  The blogosphere has exploded with chatter about this inspired tactic (here's just one example from Word-of-Mouth Marketing kingpin andy Sernovitz), bringing KFC a tidal wave of positive buzz...much needed after being tarred and feathered in so many ways over the past few years.

What does this have to do with selling chicken?  Directly, very little, but indirectly, the goodwill generated by this Surprise may fill coffers KFC faster than KFC fills holes.

Now, if I could only find a corporation willing to clean my eavestroughs... 

Ass-vertising--Getting Caught With Your Pants Down

Perhaps inspired by Wednesday's post, perhaps by divine intervention, Ryan Barton of Rhyno Marketing sends along another fine example of what happens when people inadvertently (and quite hilariously) interact with, and become, advertising.  This one, with the message "Get Up and Run," is a simple, chair-positioned sticker from a place called VIP Gym:

This is my fave, but actually one of many that Ryan collected and displayed on his blog.  Check out the rest of the series (particularly the heart-tugging shopping cart ad and the brilliant mudflap smoking one) by clicking here for Ryan's Blog, or here for WebUrbanist, the source of all this fun.

They're At It Again, Still!

As repeated here relentlessly, incessantly, ad nauseam, Surprise is not a one-off stunt; for it to truly pay dividends, it has to work as a continuum, an on-going process of "What Will They Think Of Next?"

Here's two people who get it, and give it, big-time:

--J&D's Foods follow-up to Bacon Salt:  Baconnaise (also certified Kosher!)

--Richard (Sir Surprise) Branson providing thongs to Business Class patrons and "Women's Only" toilets on Virgin Airline's new Australia-USA flights.  As he puts it: "I think those sorts of things will show a sense of humour ... and we're not like the other guys."

 

What will they think of next, indeed.

Scratch This--We Become The Ad

Two, two, two Surprise-marketing tactics in one--Wear Virgin Contact Lenses and Take Things Out of Context--come together in the brilliant, kinda creepy, but ultimately effective ad for Frontline Flea & Tick Spray from the Jakarta, Indonesia branch of Saatchi & Saatchi.

This massive floor sticker in a Jakarta mall makes us humans part of the ad itself, and while interesting from ground level, the perspective takes on a certain power and majesty when seen from levels above. (Major props to Contessa Trujillo for this one.)

This is more than an ad; it's an interactive "attraction" that sends tourists and locals alike scurrying up escalators and elevators to take pictures, and most importantly, share them. In other words, you scratch my back...

The Best Biz Book? Maybe Not...But Perhaps The Most ENTERTAINING

Been doing a lot of interviews for Pow! (including this video/radio hybrid with Kurt Schemers on TradersNation.com) and one thing I always say in 'em is that while I don't think I'll ever be bestowed with the honor of "Best Business Book of All-Time," I think I qualify for the sobriquet of "MOST ENTERTAINING Business Book of All-Time."  Which is why I get photos like these from readers and veteran bloggers like Mark Leslie:

Gladwell, Godin, Pink and the Heaths may sell more books, but I doubt highly that their readers get so insanely and eboulliantly intereactive with their covers.  Thanks Mike...but ya gotta open it to REALLY feel the Pow!

Duplicity--Powered By The Ever-Demanding Beast Called "Surprise"

Okay, bear with me on this one.  It's a long read, but well worth it.

The film "Duplicity" opened over the weekend, and the reviews have been relatively positive, but the REAL story here at Surprise Central is one that appeared in the most recent issue of The New Yorker, where writer D.T. Max interviews the film's writer and director Tony Gilroy.  In the piece, Gilroy--a well-respected veteran writer of film thrillers--explains not just the necessity of Surprise in film, but the challenge to maintain a flow of NEW Surprise to an increasingly educated and demanding audience.  Here are a few excerpts from Max's piece: 

"The core of 'Duplicity' is the screenwriting trope known as the reversal. Gilroy told me, “A reversal is just anything that’s a surprise. It’s a way of keeping the audience interested.”  In 'Good Will Hunting,' when Matt Damon, mopping the floor at a university, comes upon a complicated math problem on a blackboard and solves it, the audience suddenly realizes that he is not an ordinary janitor—that’s a reversal.

"Gilroy believes that the writer and the moviegoing public are engaged in a cognitive arms race. As the audience grows savvier, the screenwriter has to invent new reversals—madder music and stronger wine. 

Don't ya just love that? "A cognitive arms race."  How poetic!  Max and Gilroy go on to further explain the challenge, and the perils in not meeting it.

"Perhaps the most famous reversal in film was written by William Goldman, originally in his 1974 novel 'Marathon Man,' then honed for the movie version. Laurence Olivier, a sadistic Nazi dentist, is drilling into Dustin Hoffman’s mouth, trying to force him to disclose the location of a stash of diamonds. 'Is it safe?' he keeps asking. Suddenly, William Devane sweeps in to rescue him and spirits Hoffman away.

"In the subsequent car ride, Devane starts asking questions; he wants to know where the diamonds are. After a few minutes, Hoffman’s eyes grow wide: Devane and Olivier are in league! 'Thirty years ago, when Bill Goldman wrote it, the reversal in ‘Marathon Man’ was fresh,' Gilroy says.  "But it must have been used now four thousand times.'

"This is the problem that new movies must solve.  As Gilroy says, 'How do you write a reversal that uses the audience’s expectations in a new way? You have to write to their accumulated knowledge.'"

Generating Surprise--it ain't easy.  It's an ongoing beast that demands increasing amounts of nourishment.  But if the alternative is regurgitating the same ol' same old, well... THERE IS NO alternative.

Weekend Rant--Pick THIS You Vultures; My Brain's Off-Limits

People who know me say I'm a pretty nice guy.

I give to charity, treat my employees fairly and with respect, and am good to my family.  I speak to student assemblies at my old grade school and high school, and I'm kind to animals, most notably to dogs.

So keep that in mind as I prepare to rail against a breed of vultures who demand of my time by asking me if they can, arrrrggggggghhhhh, PICK MY BRAIN!

Three times in the last week-and-a-half alone some well-meaning but poor-delivering soul has requested "just an hour of my time" so that they could claw at my cerebellum for their exclusive benefit.

While not everything in life needs to be tit-for-tat, could someone explain where MY win is in having my "brain picked"?  The process sounds like a nefarious experiment from a Herschell Gordon Lewis bloodfest where the spoils go to the picker and spoiled leftover is me, the unfortunate pickee.

Now I'm no fool and I get it; there comes a time in life when one's collective accomplishments or mere longevity at doing anything makes them a candidate to dispense what one with fewer achievements or time-in-the-field will consider "wisdom."  That I can accept, understand, and in my case, even appreciate as a supreme compliment.

But there HAS TO BE a better way to ask for an audience with said person than with the insidious Brain Pick. The verbal equivalent of a silent burp after a meal of garlicky Portuguese sausage and dark Bavarian beer, this is an IMMEDIATE turn-off which results in a knee-jerk reaction of me constructing something akin to the Great Wall of China around my calendar. Pick my brain?  You're gonna need an industrial-strength jackhammer just to poke a pinhole in my Outlook.

So, as I sponge up the venom from my keyboard and desk and pop half an Ativan to calm down, let me provide you knowledge-and-advice-seekers with a little bit of it in advance: put away your pick-axes and cranial maps and use instead terminology like:

• "Would you mind giving me the benefit of your experience?" or
• "Would you be so kind to share your expertise?" or
• "There are a few things I would appreciate learning from you"

...or something else that establishes that you are asking for a favor, and not the opportunity to invade one's brain with a sharp, deadly weapon.

This is not saying you need to suck up or kiss-ass.  The goal is still the same: a sincere wish for a transfer of knowledge. But it's all about staying on message with a message that's a little more humble and positive.

This way, people like me won't feel like a victim.  Or see you as a predator. 

And, most importantly, have more of our brain left to share with the next person who asks properly.

Friday's Lesson: Charts Are Not Just Cheap, But...

Given the fact that I perform numerous speeches and am called on for an equally-numerous amount of corporate presentations, I have become somewhat of a PowerPoint Improvement Junkie.  I have to say quite unabashedly that my PowerPoints whup ass; they're bold, colorful and--naturally--Surprising. They sing, shout, entertain and explain.

But they are so because of my never-ending quest to make 'em better.  I've read all the books, from Seth Godin's Really Bad PowerPoint to Garr Reynolds' Presentation Zen.  And last week, I added Dan Ward's "Charts Are Cheap" to my list of learning.

Dan, a military technologist who knows a thing or two about efficiency, has cobbled together an elegantly simple, yet deeply profound, primer on simplicity.  While it may be a tad "too black-and-white" for this wildly-hued blogger, the points Dan makes (including the one at right) are eye-opening and easy to adopt.

I could post this via SlideShare, but you'll miss the explanatory notes that add context and depth, so in a way to share the best of it with all of you, here's the process:

1) Click on this link: Charts Are Cheap 

2) You'll be taken to a zipped file.  Click "OK" or "Open" (Trust me, it's safe)
3) A Filzip screen will pop up, with the PowerPoint link inside.
4) Click away, enjoy...and learn!

Much thanks, Dan!

Popcorn Soup

The decor was sharp and simple.  The food was wonderful.  Wine list was adventurous.

But the review said: "The focus at Kitchenette is on playfulness."  (Kitchenette is a new restaurant I tried this past week.)

Here's what it meant, and here's what people talked about:

The fact that the Butternut Squash Soup was served with a flurry of popcorn on top, with a small retro-cinema refill box on the side.

It's one of the four key theories in creating Surprise--Little Things Mean a Lot.  It's also one of the Nine Tactics--Take Things Out of Context.

A little unexpected merging of two dichotomous items, soup and popcorn,can be the catalyst to a lot of talk, buzz and "I gotta try it"s.  Gotta go back there with a camera to show ya...

Meanwhile, what little things are YOU doing to Surprise, delight and inspire your customers?

The Truth--It May Hurt, But It May Sell

Love this.  From the Shock and Ahh... school of generating Surprise--and sales!--comes this quote from Kenneth Hein of Brandweek in a provocative piece called "Marketing to the Unemployed":

"Optimism isn't a strategy.  I'm sorry.  Last I checked, most ads were already optimistic before the shit hit the fan.  It's not like Coke or Pepsi is going to trot out a pessimistic ad.  Maybe they should.  A more authentic advertisement might say:

'Hey, things really suck right now,
but our new 16-oz. Coke is only 99 cents. 
If you need a little pick me up, spring for it
and maybe you'll feel a little better'."

Ouch.  This bluntness won't work for everybody, but for those for whom it WILL work, it will work big-time. 

Use at your own risk...and reward.

Preaching Surprise: It Ain't Just Me

This from THE authority on word-of-mouth marketing, Andy Sernovitz:

Rogue Books--Pow! Travels The World and Attacks

One of the best part of writing the Pow! book is the feedback I get from readers...particularly the more visual elements of this feedback.  Cases in point:

All the way from the docks in Hobart, Tasmania (!!!) comes this pic of Michael Eury, who conceives and delivers training workshops in presentation skills and learning design.

You can catch Michael's blog (and a review of Pow!) by clicking these words.  Meanwhile, somewhat closer to home in Maryland, mobile advertising pioneer Paul Palmieri shows what happens when you order Pow! in multiples--like wild animals or teenagers, they're vicious when traveling in packs.  Time to call my lawyer...just in case.

.

Talk To Me: iPod Shuffle Demonstrates Difference Between Wow! and POW!

The launch of Apple's new iPod shuffle gives us a textbook example of the difference between Wow! and Pow!

Wow! is impressive, but expected.  It moves incrementally. It takes you past a standard already set.

Pow! is also impressive, but totally UN-expected.  It moves in leaps and bounds, sometimes in quantum leaps and bounds.  It smacks you about the head, since you never saw it coming. 

So in terms of the new shuffle, the Wow! is that it's now even smaller.  Here's the incremental, expected process: 

• The first one was small. 
  
• The second one was smaller. 
  
• The third one, well...it wasn't gonna get bigger, right?

The Pow! though, is that the teeny weeny thing TALKS. 

THAT's the Surprise.  That's the "Holy Jeez!"  That's what gets the blogosphere and the tweeters buzzing.

Next time around, the iPod Shuffle Wow! will be that it talks to you with celebrity voices, or in foreign accents, or something expected and incremental like that.

The Pow! may be that it'll be invisible.

Andy Meets Andy...Kinda

As a long-time Andy Warhol admirer and collector, I found this is kinda cool.  This is how the Warhol Foundation treated Airborne Mobile's recent announcement of bringing the pop art maestro's imagery to mobile devices:

Another Damn Good Surprise Quote--Laurels From Hardy

If you're looking for someone to blame for all of this, then blame Steve (Shardy) Hardy. 

The quiet-on-the-surface/turbulent-under-it creative generalist is the reason I started blogging in the first place; a former Airborne employee, the way Steve expanded his intelligentia network via his blog impressd the hell out of me, and a little bit of advice later, well, here I was.

That said, the kind words he recently published about the Pow! book were most appreciated indeed.

But what really hit home was a comment published to his post, from a former colleague of Steve's named Alan Wiggan. 

"You might remember a Creative Director we worked with, Trevor McConnell, whose - very successful - mantra was: 'Arrive unexpectedly and leave understood.'  

"There is a very important element in this formula and it is 'understanding'. Surprise without meaningful purpose is a party trick; linking surprise to a meaningful end is damned hard to do well and those who can are deserving of our admiration."  

The brilliant adman really hit the nail on the cranium--a "stunt" is for today, true Surprise is everlasting.  In fact, Alan's eight word summation deserves repeating, albeit in a very un-Shardy-like uber-bold, shout-out fashion:

Surprise without meaningful purpose is a party trick

The World's Most Caffeinated Campaign

Ads on coffee cups: Old school.

Ads on coffee itself: New.  Weird as hell, but new.

From Expedia in Germany (those wacky Germans!) comes this ethereal, foamy and caffeinated ad format:

200 Free Pow! Books UPDATE #8--More Winners

And the hits just keep on coming!  Four more winners in the Pow! 200 Blogger Book Giveaway, with four more to come.  But for the moment:

Warren Sukernek of Twittermaven, Phil Gerbyshak, the "Make It Great Guy" and Katie Konrath of Get Fresh Minds have all won a pair of limited edition Pow! jeans, signed by designer Sal Parasuco.

Meanwhile the ever gracious Grace Boyle (who works for Lijit.com but blogs at Small Hands, Big Ideas) has taken home one of the biggies--she gets the services of super book agent Bill Gladstone in her quest (I hope!) to hit the bookshelves.  Enjoy the ride, Grace!

More winners announced as they contact me.  Until then, enjoy the blogs of the four above.

The NEW Ball Game

Been doing a lot of interviews for the ol' Pow! book, and one question that's recurring on a regular basis is:

"How can Surprise tactics help in today's frightfully down economy?"

Here's the answer I gave all last week, courtesy of Jon Birger's article "Baseball Battles The Slump" in the most recent Fortune Magazine.  In the piece, Jon talks about the efforts of the small-market Arizona Diamondbacks, most notably its tirelessCEO Derrick Hall. 

In addition to outlining Hall's meticulous attention to detail and his obsessive response to the fans, Jon cites this "expanding the boundaries of delightful extremes" Pow! Moment:

"As focused as Hall is on keeping existing fans happy, he's even more obsessive about cultivating the next generation. If he's out to dinner and sees a youngster wearing a D-backs hat, he'll pick up the family's tab."

Thanks for the help, Derrick.  It's stories like this that don't merely fill blog posts, but fill seats.  It's this type of grass-roots, never-say-die action that may be the difference between survival and extinction as the abyss of the economy swallows up the bloated and the indifferent.

Next time I'm in Phoenix, I'll pick up a ticket or two for a sun-drenched afternoon game...

...and hang around local restaurants sporting a D-Backs cap.  Just in case. 

Available Now on iTunes--The First-Ever Business Book Soundtrack

Was kind holding onto this one, but since Beth Negus Viveiros spilled the beans in a very appreciated piece about the marketing of a marketing book in Chief Marketer, I guess I should tell you about the official soundtrack to the Pow! book, which I call:

Pow! Right Between The Ears!

The soundtrack, the first-ever for a business book I suspect confidently, is filled with music to read Pow! by; a selection of songs that inspired parts of the book and/or fit its theme (too bad Springsteen's latest effort came out after I had locked down song selection, as his "Surprise, Surprise," while not my fave Boss tune of all time, still would've been a welcome addition.  Nonetheless...)

Anyway, it's up and available for public consumption on iTunes, and can be downloaded by visiting my site and clicking the country-specific iTunes link button/flag.

So...as Ronnie Van Zant said to kick off "Sweet Home Alabama":

"TURN IT UP!"

200 Free Pow! Books UPDATE #7--First Prize Redeemed

Well, the books are flowing from 800 CEO-Read, and the first of nine Pow! prizes has been claimed:

Chris Wilson of The Marketing Fresh Peel has won himself one of two Tim Barnard original artworks from the book itself.

He chose the one that kicks off Chapter 3 and features Sir Richard Branson, amongst others.

More to come.  Meanwhile, check out Chris's blog by clicking here.

Open Wide--Pow!'s Boston Week #5

Okay, one final Boston post for y'all. 

One thing I hate more than unimaginative brunches are stultifying “Open/Closed” signs (hard to please suckah, ain’t I?). 

I’ve ranted long and hard against the bad ones, but pump my fist in joy when I find a needle-in-the-haystack good one...like this from a clothing and accessory store called Motley (courtesy of one of its cooler brands, Sailor Jerry, and both worth a visit, particiularly the Sailor Jerry Blog):

Johnny Takes The Cake--Pow!'s Boston Week #4

Still in Boston, but now traipsing through the trendy boutiques of Newbury Street.  Still stuffed from the Tremont 647 brunch (see yesterday’s post), but this bakery made me an offer I couldn’t refuse:

By the way, pardon the pun, but the icing on the cake was the third window sign which read: Zero Sugar (never mind the heavenly fumes wafting from within the place).

So, I climbed the stairs, justifying the unnecessary snack with visions of additional sessions in the gym, and found this:

 

Can there be any more blatant Pow!?  Despite the bakery display cases, the bake sheets, mixing machines and wide-handled boxes, the only cupcakes for sale here were on the t-shirts and accessories created by their eponymous designer.

Even more impressive than this supreme Pow! Moment was the story behind it.  Full details can be found on the Johnny Cupcakes eye-cradling website, but here is a guy who eschewed mass merchandising and built a multi-million-dollar business selling clothes to a hip and exclusive few…which had led him to being labeled a “branding genius,” and a hot property on the college lecture circuit (no fool is Mr. Cupcakes; his lecture tour is akin to a band’s, where he rakes in bushels of bucks by selling merch directly to his audience).

So instead of a tasty but gratuitous two-or-three-buck nibble, I instead picked up a stylin’-but-superfluous $35 t-shirt.  You do the math.

And as a bonus, it added loads to my street cred account with the younger and hipper members of my staff back at the office as apparently, Johnny Cupcakes is quite the benefactor and supporter of the extreme edges of the indie music scene, providing merch and other help to bands like A Day To Remember.

Sweet...

----------------------------------------

And speaking of cupcakes, check this out.  Passed along to me by my son Aidan, from the blog of much-admired author and personal fave Daniel Pink, comes this story of ethereal, edible art.  The picture below is just the start; Dan's great blog will tell you the rest.

Wonder who's doing the t-shirts?

Sleepwear Where?--Pow!'s Boston Week #3

I hate brunch. 

Okay, that’s kinda strong as a sentiment, but as meals go, it’s perhaps one of the culinary world’s most predictable and boring—buffet tables of overpriced, pre-prepped eggs and bacon and juice and roast beef served to a line of ravenous plate-wielding multitudes in bulk. All that’s missing is the trough.

That’s why, during my recent Boston sojourn, I begged, cajoled—pleaded with!—Vinnie the concierge at the Copley Plaza Hotel to please find me something different, unique—may I even ask for Surprising!—for my Sunday late-morning meal.

Well, Vinnie delivered.  Despite its nondescript address-cum-name, the restaurant Tremont 647 (at 647 Tremont Street in the city's fashionable Back Bay district) delivered on all fronts.

The main differentiating factor was its famed “Pajama Brunch,” where all staff are outfitted in assorted sleepwear (see a few above I assembled for the perfunctory Pow! pic), and the menu (below) wags its finger at you with a loud “Why aren’t you in your PJs?” reprimand (while all people at Tremont 647 are treated equal, the resto’s manager did admit that those who actually come dressed down are treated WAY more equal than the others).

Most places would never, ever even get to this level, but the majority of those that would, would stop right here: cute gimmick, now shovel out those scrambled eggs and sausage.  Not so at this place.

Taking a lesson from its more elegant, evening-service brethren, Tremont 647 starts off each bruncher with a plate of “amuse-bouche” (we had some literal melt-in-your-mouth, mini cheese-danish-type things), and provide standards and specials that are far-from-standard and extra-special.  While I’m no food critic, suffice to say that we ate well in bubbly, friendly surroundings for a more-than-fair price.  Best of all, this was not a one-off “over the top,” where you would think to yourself that “Okay, I’ve done this once…and once is enough”; the restaurant bustled with spirit and happiness, the food was imaginative and plentiful, and I’d go back tomorrow.

Here's the story:

This was not a "meal"; this was a long-running, twice-weekly "happening."  This was a hit show where people stood in line with their lovers, kids, parents, whomever, to get in and

Like yesterday’s Barbershop Lounge story, Tremont 647 shows that any business can integrate Pow! into its DNA.  And when dealing with seemingly “its all been done” commodities like haircuts or weekend brunches or whatever your company does, one doesn’t have to throw in the towel and give up on finding a way to deliver a flow of delightful extremes to your customers.

Sleep on it.

A Commitment To Your Groom(ing)--Pow!'s Boston Week #2

Faithful FOPs know by now that I recently spent a weekend in Boston, and judging by the amount of Pow! I stumbled upon, this city should replace the rather unresponsive Surprise, Arizona as the spiritual home of this blog (now if we could only do something about those hated Bruins...).

That said, all this week we'll be featuring Boston's discoveries here at Surprise Central, continuing with the sign at right, from a men's salon called Barbershop Lounge.

This is the type of biz that has been the same for years; while hairstyles and services have changed, there's only so much a men's salon can do for its customers without breaking the boundaries of decency...or the law itself.

That's why I love what these people did.  Following two of the nine major Surprise-generating tactics in one fell swoop ("Wear Virgin Contact Lenses," which urges one to see things as if it were their first time and "A Piece of the Puzzle," which suggests breaking down a problem into pieces and focusing on the shiniest one), Barbershop Lounge decided not to focus on what they were offering, but on how they were charging for it instead...hence the sign and its subscription.

We all know that gyms charge annual memberships, but hairstylists?  Actually, the Lounge has multiple memberships, ranging from the one you see here to the Platinum, which includes massages, shoe shines, shaves, hand and foot treatments and even valet parking for a hair-raising $2275 per year.

Think of your biz.  Can you get your customers to commit to a year's worth of your products or services?  This is when it becomes less about money and more about a relationship. Are YOU worth the vow? 

The NEW Rules of The Book Tour--Pow!'s Boston Week #1

Despite the happy faces of myself and Dave (Manager of Borders Downtown Boston store) above, times have changed in the book biz…and not for the better.

Times are tough in the book biz…and are set to get tougher.

Whoo-hoo!  Wow, what a great time to release Pow!

The only saving grace is that my book's subject matter gives me the excuse for what I’m about to spring on you.

Let’s be blunt: desperate times call for desperate measures, particularly in book stores, which are being eaten alive by the rise of online giants and the fall of discretionary income.   

Well, like the lounge lizard who misguidedly pops a Viagra ten minutes before a bar’s closing time, this over-reaching author understands the concept of desperation…and how to act on it. 

Fast.

So instead of embarking on the standard book tour (a nightmare best captured in this Village Voice article), visiting stores to sit behind a rickety bridge table and scratch out my moniker for a handful of people who most probably have mistakenly come thinking they’re about to meet legendary songster Randy Newman, this is the way I plan to turn the book biz's lemons into my lemoncello:

-- I will not read from my book. Not one word.  Instead, I will work with a local group of young musicians, spend the afternoon rehearsing, and regale customers with a chapter sung as if it were a rock opera. Pow! will thus be the first business book made into a musical; a hip “Mamma Mia” for the corporate set, of you will. It’ll have a good beat and yes, you can dance to it. 

-- I will set up a day care and baby-sit customers’ kids.  I can change diapers, wipe noses and recite both “Goodnight Moon” and “Caps For Sale” from memory.  One Pow! book buys mom or dad 30 minutes of offset responsibility.  If this works, I can expand the book-for-service concept into walking customer dogs, washing their cars, picking up their dry cleaning.  Their errand list can bring me to the best seller list.

-- I will pitch a tent like you see in county fairs and pitch my book with the infomercial-standard volume, pace and pitch of an over-caffeinated Billy Mays trying to shatter his monthly sales quota of Mighty Putty and Hercules Hooks.   (And if they act now, I’ll throw in this amazing apple peeler!

-- I will sell one-to-one.  Literally.  I will follow and pursue customers—upstairs, downstairs, out the door and down the street if need be—waving my book as if it were some holy scripture, until they acquiesce and buy it.  Call it short term gain (mine) for long-term pain (unfortunately, the bookstores’). 

-- I will unfold a cot and sleep in a store’s main window for an entire weekend.  Welcome to the human zoo.  Let customers gawk and throw me treats (for the record, I dig sushi, hotdogs in blankets and one-bite muffins for dessert).  Not only will I set the Guinness Book World Record for “Longest Book Signing,” sleeping in stores will allow my publisher to save on hotel and per diem costs.

-- I will kiss and/or dance with any female customer that buys a book (well, one of mine, of course).  No mere chit-chat or “move along, now” from me.  If this doesn’t cement the bond between reader and writer, nothing will.

-- I will boldly challenge each male customer to an arm wrestle.  I win, they buy a book.  I lose, they buy two.  Ouch, but worth it.

-- I will take the above one step further and set up a series of competitive poker matches.  Strip poker, that is (note: this is only for the most liberal of booksellers).  I win, they buy.  I lose, I disrobe.  End result:  record sales…or a police record.

-- I will hit up old Lottery Commission contacts and introduce “Loto-Book” where I’ll hide $50 bills in random books piled behind me.  Buy one for your chance to win!  Or better still, a “Scratch and Win” where customers scratch the cover of my book with a coin to see what they’ve won, which will be nothing other than a defaced book.

Well, there you have it.  Radical, industry-shaking ideas designed to surprise, make noise and, most importantly, sell truckloads of books.

And if these don’t move the needle and put me atop the New York Times Best-Seller List, I’m ready to take the most desperate action of them all:

-- Head to the Supreme Court and legally change my name to “J.K. Rowling.”