People who know me say I'm a pretty nice guy.
I give to charity, treat my employees fairly and with respect, and am good to my family. I speak to student assemblies at my old grade school and high school, and I'm kind to animals, most notably to dogs.
So keep that in mind as I prepare to rail against a breed of vultures who demand of my time by asking me if they can, arrrrggggggghhhhh, PICK MY BRAIN!
Three times in the last week-and-a-half alone some well-meaning but poor-delivering soul has requested "just an hour of my time" so that they could claw at my cerebellum for their exclusive benefit.
While not everything in life needs to be tit-for-tat, could someone explain where MY win is in having my "brain picked"? The process sounds like a nefarious experiment from a Herschell Gordon Lewis bloodfest where the spoils go to the picker and spoiled leftover is me, the unfortunate pickee.
Now I'm no fool and I get it; there comes a time in life when one's collective accomplishments or mere longevity at doing anything makes them a candidate to dispense what one with fewer achievements or time-in-the-field will consider "wisdom." That I can accept, understand, and in my case, even appreciate as a supreme compliment.
But there HAS TO BE a better way to ask for an audience with said person than with the insidious Brain Pick. The verbal equivalent of a silent burp after a meal of garlicky Portuguese sausage and dark Bavarian beer, this is an IMMEDIATE turn-off which results in a knee-jerk reaction of me constructing something akin to the Great Wall of China around my calendar. Pick my brain? You're gonna need an industrial-strength jackhammer just to poke a pinhole in my Outlook.
So, as I sponge up the venom from my keyboard and desk and pop half an Ativan to calm down, let me provide you knowledge-and-advice-seekers with a little bit of it in advance: put away your pick-axes and cranial maps and use instead terminology like:
- "Would you mind giving me the benefit of your experience?" or
- "Would you be so kind to share your expertise?" or
- "There are a few things I would appreciate learning from you"
...or something else that establishes that you are asking for a favor, and not the opportunity to invade one's brain with a sharp, deadly weapon.
This is not saying you need to suck up or kiss-ass. The goal is still the same: a sincere wish for a transfer of knowledge. But it's all about staying on message with a message that's a little more humble and positive.
This way, people like me won't feel like a victim. Or see you as a predator.
And, most importantly, have more of our brain left to share with the next person who asks properly.