Okay, this is a leftover from Australia, but it's worth it. I think.
On the first day of my brief vacationesque trip to the tropical region of Cairns, I got bit by some sort of insect on the back of my neck.
It itched, I scratched it a bit, and over the next 24 hours said bite zone exploded into a golf-ball-sized welt. By the time I left Cairns to fly to Sydney on Thursday afternoon, I had Mount Vesuvious growing under my shirt collar.
It gets worse.
That evening, we had a goodbye dinner at a ritzy resto called Aria. Our guests--which included comedians John Cleese and Dylan Moran--wondered whether I was praying or incessantly consulting the menu, as I could hardly lift my head to make eye contact with them.
At about 10:00 p.m. I couldn't stand it anymore, and knew that if I didn't take care of this agony right away, my 20-hour flight the next day back home would be hell on wings.
I asked Adrian Bohm, our Australian promoter partner, if he knew of any hospitals nearby.
"There are a couple, but you'll sit for five or six hours in Emergency." he said.
Well, that shattered my illusion that Australia's health care system was different than ours. Nonetheless, I'd hop over to a hospital in a flash with a book or two on a regular day, but with a flight less than 12 hours away, this was a non-option.
"But let me call the hotel," he continued. "Maybe they have a doctor on call."
And thus was planted the seed for this week's lesson.
WHAT I AVOIDED
By the time I walked back to the Sofitel, 15 minutes away, the traveling hotel doctor had already called the concierge. When I called back to tell him I had arrived, he was in the lobby in less than 15 more.
To make a long, painful and disgusting story short, the doctor came up to the room with a black bag of tools and potions, and after performing minor surgery on my room's couch--with no anesthesia, I may add--I was a relieved man.
A half hour after the first knock on the door, the doctor was on his way elsewhere.
The cost? $300...charged to the room, to boot.
WHAT I GOT. (This photo of Sofitel Sydney Wentworth is courtesy of TripAdvisor)
So here's the lesson:
When you get sick, where's
the best place to check into?
A hospital?
Yeah, right...
Try a hotel.
Seriously, next time you're in need of medical attention, head to the nearest luxury hotel and ask the concierge if he or she can call you a doctor.
I'd bet you don't even have to check in to get service.
Even if you DO have to take a room to get the care, you're still ahead a few hours. What's more, you don't just get a house call, but have a private room to convalesce in.
Yes I know, it's more costly than heading over to your insurance-based or medicare-friendly medical facility. Not everyone has the type of pockets this solution requires.
But if your time:pain ratio is stronger than your pain:dollar ratio, the Four Seasons Hospital or Ritz-Carlton Health Centre awaits!
Tell them Andy sent ya.
Oh...and you're welcome.