Pow! Right Between The Eyes! Andy Nulman's Blog About Surprise

Pow! Right Between The Legs

Sometimes, writing this blog is too easy.

Here's today's lob ball, courtesy of "The Laugh Shop" in Calgary's Blackfoot Inn...

Ya know, I ran the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival for 15 years, and saw all types of reactions to comedians--people fell off chairs, tumbled out of seats, needed a hit of oxygen, hit one another, even climed up on stage to smack a performer.

But I never saw anything quite like this. Guess they're funnier out west. 

This is part of a billboard, radio, print and online banner campaign (can't wait to hear the radio ads!).  May not be everyone's taste, but does indeed check the box on the "Shock and Ahhh" category of Surprise-generation.

Uh...just thought of a great ad for a scary House of Horrors next hallowe'en ;)

Blissed On! (Chilling Out The Day After)

Jeez, how does this work?

Write a nasty post and make two new friends...

Within minutes of yesterday's nuclear missive, I heard from a very magnanimous and professional Mike Chapman with some major mea culpas ("Thanks, but better make 'em to your client," was my response. "She's the one who pays you."). 

Not long after, Jeanne Bliss herself popped up in the inbox.

I ended up calling her, and we had a delightful lil' chat about everything from the pugnacious process of plugging books to my upcoming visit to Rock Camp in L.A.

Yeah, we all screw up from time to time.  These days, it's how we respond that makes a difference.

Done right, the end result can be even better than had everything gone right in the first place.  As Picasso said, "All art is merely recovery from the deviation of a straight line." 

So well done, Mike and Jeanne.

See you on the best-seller list.

Pimp My Wikipedia Entry!

Given the current brouhaha over the banning of Scientologists from applying their obviously impartial editing skills to Wikipedia entries, I took a peek at my own to ensure no funny business from no nasty Scientology member.

The end result?  Well, I wish L. Ron Hubbard himself had applied his considerable creative writing skills to give me a makeover.  Jeez, after all I've said and done, you'd figure there'd be something more entertaining than this (and that would mention this blog, and the Pow! book and what have you):

So, here's a challenge for all you FOPs out there--Pimp My Wikipedia Entry!

What to say?  How to say it?  Aw...just Surprise me.

Go crazy...

Surprisingly Slow

Surprise.  Useful to sell stuff indeed, but the power of Pow! is equally as effective in other, more socially-relevant arenas as well, most notably our dangerous roads.  Wrote about this in the Pow! book (excerpt below), but I was delighted to see that the spirit of Shock-to-Slow continues which is very different from "Shock-to-Stop," which we highlighted yesterday).  This from Adam Tuss at WTOP, a Washington, DC radio station:

LOUDOUN -- Behind the wheel, you want the least amount of distraction possible. So why is a local transportation agency painting crooked lines on the road on purpose?

The Virginia Department of Transportation says it's part of a safety campaign to get drivers to slow down in a high pedestrian and bicycle area.

"It is a low cost strategy to get motorists to slow down as they approach the bike trail and pedestrian path," says VDOT's Mike Salmon. "While at first motorists may be a little disoriented, the main point is to get them to pay attention and slow down through that area."

VDOT says similar programs have been successful in the United Kingdom and Australia. The transportation agency will study the zig-zagging lines for a year and see if they actually reduce speeds.

Here's the excerpt that inspired this post, and my continual interest in seeing Surprise used as a do-good device:

Another social issue taken by Surprise is that of reckless driving. 

To shock the system and force drivers to reduce their speeds through a busy intersection in Cambridge, Mass., city officials called on artist Wen-ti Tsen, who came up with a 20-foot circular mural painted directly on the asphalt.  The out-of-context-ness Surprised drivers into slowing down, if only to appreciate the work.

“I know I slow down,” said Lillian Hsu of the Cambridge Arts Council.  “There’s something in the road, so there’s a moment of confusion and you slow down.  Then you see it’s flat and you drive over it.”

Taken one step further, flat plastic optical illusions of pyramid-shaped 3D speed bumps were laid down in the middle of high-trafficked roads in Philadelphia and Phoenix. 

“At a mere $60 to $80 each, they cost a fraction of real speed bumps (which can run $1,000 to $1,500) and require little maintenance,” said Richard Simon, deputy regional administrator for the U.S. Highway Safety Administration.

The moral of the story, and of this post? 

SLOW DOWN, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

Busting The Budget

One of the four main theories of creating Surprise is that "Little Things Mean A Lot.'

Well, this is KINDA a little thing...but could be construed as a big thing, I suppose, depending on how you look at it.

Anyway, crass it may be, but effective it seems to be as well.

Disproportionately effective, one may say. 

Watch the video, and YOU be the judge...

Eat This, Mofos!

Gotta love this brazen display of big balls.

As a follow-along from last week's post about criticism and how to deal with it comes this story from San Francisco's 7X7.com blog about the city's trendy Pizzeria Delfina.

Seems that the resto was on the receiving end of some vicious tearing-of-a-new-asshole by reviewers on Yelp!  Instead of retreating or trying to hide the critiques, Delfina's actually collected some of the nastiest one-star quotes, printed them up on t-shirts, and gave them to their wait staff to wear defiantly.  As 7X7 put it: "Instead of simply bitching about Yelp, they've made Yelp their bitch."

Check out one of these dissing-the-dissers shirts:

Incredible.  Love this.  We all should be able to face our opponents with such open contrary confidence.

The Truth--It May Hurt, But It May Sell

Love this.  From the Shock and Ahh... school of generating Surprise--and sales!--comes this quote from Kenneth Hein of Brandweek in a provocative piece called "Marketing to the Unemployed":

"Optimism isn't a strategy.  I'm sorry.  Last I checked, most ads were already optimistic before the shit hit the fan.  It's not like Coke or Pepsi is going to trot out a pessimistic ad.  Maybe they should.  A more authentic advertisement might say:

'Hey, things really suck right now,
but our new 16-oz. Coke is only 99 cents. 
If you need a little pick me up, spring for it
and maybe you'll feel a little better'."

Ouch.  This bluntness won't work for everybody, but for those for whom it WILL work, it will work big-time. 

Use at your own risk...and reward.

The World's Most Caffeinated Campaign

Ads on coffee cups: Old school.

Ads on coffee itself: New.  Weird as hell, but new.

From Expedia in Germany (those wacky Germans!) comes this ethereal, foamy and caffeinated ad format:

A Most Solid Message

Used to see this in novelty stores, usually with a beer mug, but kudos to London's Rimmel Nail Polish for blowing this up Pow!-size to effectively, efficiently and outstandingly communicate the "Quick Dry" attribute of their product. Superb example of Shock and Ahh...

One Calorie; Tons of Attention

Suicide is far from funny.

This ad, however, is.

It's part of a Pepsi Max campaign over in Germany (!) and created by BBDO in Dusseldorf (!!!) (Check out the other two ads here.)

You may hate 'em, you may love 'em, but folks ain't ignoring them.

There are always inherent risks in pushing the boundaries of the extreme, but what other option do marketers have?  Well, there’s boredom, invisibility and irrelevance to name just three.

Chess grandmaster Garry Kasparov once said “What separates a winner from a loser is the willingness to do the unthinkable.” If you’re going after consumers, you might as well hit ‘em between the eyes, because a soft shot is a wasted shot.  Stand out or sit down.

Perhaps prolific marketing blogger Sally Falkow said it best in her thought-provoking "PRoactive" blog when she said:

"There are already 550,000 results for ‘Pepsi suicide ads’ in Google. 
A blog post about the ads is already at #11 when you search Pepsi Max.
Five of the ten results on page two for Pepsi Max are about these ads. 
Give it a few more days, with the links being created to these sites, and they’re going to end up on page one."

We have a name for this kind of stuff at Surprise Central.  It's one of the nine basic tactics of Surprise Marketing, and it's called "Shock and Ahhh..." which is best explained by saying that:

"...it penetrates senses swiftly and deftly, opens eyes, mouths and minds, and then settles the message’s recipient down with a feeling of 'Oh, I get it' relief.   In physical terms, it’s like a slap in the face immediately followed by a hug."

Worth your while to read Sally's whole post here. And to perhaps get a sense of humor.

The Skinny on Shula's

Don Shula's got big balls. (Almost as big as Stephan Pastis'.)

Passed by his beloved restaurant in New York's Westin Hotel a week ago, and was FLOORED by the inclusion of an item-by-item calorie count on the lobby menu.

Holy jeez, I thought Arizona's infamous Heart Attack Grill and its Quadruple-Bypass Burger was bad, but some of the dishes that Shula's offers contain more calories than a healthy human specimen should consume in a week. 

Okay, I exaggerate...but not by much. 

While I kick myself for not taking a photo or at least copious notes, let's just say that I'll be staying away from the 48-ounce Porterhouse, the 24-ounce Prime Rib au Jus and the Apple Cobbler lest I want a stainless-steel chest-spreader for my birthday and a nano-bot crawling through my arteries for the rest of my life.  Even the French Cut Chicken Breast upped my cholesterol count just by looking at it.  Faithful FOPS, we're talking calories in the MULTIPLE thousands per plate here!

Go figure...the legendary former Miami Dolphins coach is a spokesperson for Nutrisystem.

Man, if he can do that, maybe Mark Fortier can get me a spokesperson gig for the NBA Players Association...

Launching Pearls From A Cannon

 Man oh man!  Gotta say one thing about my friend Stephan Pastis--he's got some super-sized cohones.  Always rather outspoken in his criticism of the staleness of veteran comic strips and their artists, this weekend's Pearls Before Swine Sunday panel threw down the gauntlet with the force of an Albertan meteor crash.

Here it is in all its cynical splendor (click on it if it appears cut off on your computer's screen).  Please do not read if you're a fan of Blondie, Beetle Bailey or Hi & Lois.

The Face May Be Off, But The Stomach Churns

One of the nine major Surprise-generating tactics is "Shock And Ahhh..."

This video epitomizes what I preach.

Enjoy.

Uh, I think...

Crush On You Big-Time

Thank God my inbox is not a a fridge; if so, this one would be sadly spoiled by now, considering it was sent to me by my son Aidan back in the Spring (!!!!)

This one from the very bright Chris Wilson (check out his even very brighter "Fresh Peel" blog), proving that great ideas do not grow fungus two seasons later, and that even the big boys benefit from, and exploit the sense of Surprise, every now and then:

Underdogging Your Way Into The White House

Speaking about Sarah Palin and the element of Surprise (yesterday's post and back here), the prevailing buzz since last Thursday's debate was--in the words of Brent Baker and many, many others--the "surprise that Sarah Palin wasn't a car wreck and did not embarrass herself."

In the parlance of us here at Surprise Central, that's a powerful technique called "Underdogging."  To quote myself from a blog post that first appeared here last November:

"...being underestimated is the friend of Surprise; it sets the bar low, and allows one to make an even greater impact once he or she stands out.

"Great Surprise stories--in sports, business, anywhere there is adversity and the chance of triumph against the odds--are written by Underdogs...not by Overcats.  And being underestimated is the Underdog's jet fuel."

The concept of Underdogging is used often in business, but particularly in politics. Check out this excerpt from a 1996 piece in Time Magazine:

"No one knows when the expectations game first became part of the process, but Larry O'Brien, who ran John Kennedy's 1960 campaign, loved recalling how 'we suckered everyone in West Virginia.' J.F.K.'s own polls had him beating Hubert Humphrey with 60% of the vote in that state, which at the time held a crucial primary. 'But we successfully touted our strength at 40%,' O'Brien said. 'When we hit 60% it was considered remarkable.'

"Since then, any pol worth his consulting fee has tried to lowball his own candidate's prospects while inflating his opponent's. The high chutzpah mark was reached in 1972 when George McGovern's 37% showing in New Hampshire was taken as a victory because a key aide to Ed Muskie had stupidly said she'd cut her throat if Muskie didn't get half the vote--a bar he missed by three points.

As the campaign shifts into overdrive, and as polls start to hone in on what's "supposedly" going to happen (laying groundwork for a whole other series of Surprises, but I digress...), watch for more Underdogging positioning and posturing to spin reality into the Surprise stories the parties want to tell.

Trying On a Job For Size

Dreaming of a fantasy, or nightmare, job?  The German employment site jobsintown.de puts you in the picture, literally (via hairstylist smocks)...

And figuratively (via Terry Gilliam-esque fantasy)...

Great examples of the Surprise-generating tactic of Shock and Ahhh...

And big props to faithful FOP Charlie Hoehn for sharing them with us all.

Toto, We Are Not in Kansas Anymore

If there was ever any doubt that the times, they are indeed changing, it was put to rest this weekend with my son Aidan's reaction to a t-shirt I wanted to give him:

"No thanks, Dad.
It's not ironic enough."

Making a statement doesn't seem to be enough anymore. This is the dawning of the age of subtext.

Changing The World Once Cellphone at a Time

On the road, and trying to change the world, once again...

As you read this, I'll be busy hosting a highly-focused, boutique conference in Toronto, namely Strategy Magazine's Mobile Marketing Workshop.  As a pioneer in the field, my company Airborne Mobile has been at the forefront of mobile media since the year 2000, but these days, with major brands and ad agencies starting (and that's the operative word: STARTING) to understand the value of this most direct and personal  channel as a marketing tool, the stakes are a lot higher than the act of downloading wallpapers and ringtones.

One of the inherent early problems has been the lackluster nature of most mobile campaigns.  While the industry is now (as I like to say) "learning to crawl before it can limp," there is a definite need for some Pow! to engage the customer and ensure that mobile marketing is embraced and not eschewed.  The future starts now.

Well, let's see what the day brings...

The Sweetest Spice

Hosted a fundraiser for cancer last week (Sheila Kussner's amazing Hope and Cope group) and had the chance to meet Mel C, a.k.a Sporty Spice of the Spice Girls.  Now given my age and taste in music, the Spice Girls were never in heavy rotation on my charts, but I must say I came away with more admiration for Melanie than I thought I would. 

No attitude, sweet and highly accommodating. A pleasure to deal with, and charmed everyone that she did.  Say what you want about her quintet, but they are still the top selling girl group of all time, and the fact that Melanie's not sitting back but taking a solo act out on the road, grinding it out in small clubs and actually showing up to help raise money at fundraisers says a lot about her character.

So Mel, you may not sell me any CDs, but you are definitely on my Hit List.  Hope your solo career benefits from the good karma you exude.

(P.S.  Big shout-out to Howard Kay, photographer of the stars, for the above snap.)

Hello, It's Me

Now THIS was a Surprise...

Last week, I got an email from myself.  A "friend invitation" from Facebook, actually.

No joke.  No spam.

Just a guy with the same moniker as me reaching out to a namesake. 

Now let me tell you something about the Nulmans:  aside from our obvious audacity, we are all related to each other.  The family originated in Kiev (now in the Ukraine), where a "Nul-man" was the guy who could make something from nothing (the word "nul" is literally translated as "nothing" in French and other languages).  As a rabbi once explained to me:

"Put three zeroes together,
you have nothing.
Put a 'one' in front of the zeroes, and you have a thousand.  THAT is the power of a Nul-man."

Apropos, don't ya think?

Anyway, this "other" Andy Nulman is a cousin--albeit a new found one--who lives in the Washington D.C. area.  He's about my age, and off-beat enough to pose for a Facebook profile photo next to a display of gefilte fish (that's it above).  And I was thrilled to hear from him; in fact, we're planning to get together soon, either in his hometown or mine.

You know, years ago, when I was at Just For Laughs, I had this idea for a reality TV show called "Me, Myself and I," where people who share the same name meet and are followed, discovering similarities, differences and conflicts along the way.  No stupider than "Wife Swap," I tell you, and the opportunities for both hilarious comedy and wrenching drama are endless.

Maybe I'll bring along a camera crew when me and me finally meet.

Money Talks

Not precise enough to be considered origami, but too deliberate to be dismissed a crumpled-up currency, Dan Tague's folded, twisted bills are subversive art that have been shocking the senses of those who are taking in his current show at the Jonathan Ferrara Gallery in New Orleans.

We've all screwed around with dollar bills to make George Washington look like a mushroom, but Dan takes this to an extreme, turning U.S. greenbacks into political statements and social protest pieces.  Some of the messages take a little time to emerge, but once you finally "get it," you can't helped but be impressed with his view, ingenuity...and sense of Surprise.
For example, the two above state "The End is Near" and "Trust No One...Liar."  Still, my fave is this one, his take on the nation's favorite talent competition:

Wonder what Dan could do if he were strong enough to fold quarters, nickles and dimes...  See his full collection by clicking here.

Sucks In The Title

Antony Bruno is a man of his word.

The Executive Director of Billboard's Digital/Mobile Conferences took a gamble last fall with a free-form, no-holds-barred panel at the semi-annual CTIA convention (a mainstay for us folks at Airborne).  The result was a blast (see re-cap here), and I wondered aloud if he--and his parent company--would have the guts to continue this type of programming.

Well, link away to the agenda of next month's Billboard Mobile Entertainment Live! event and see that the hits just keep on coming.  Well, at least on the panel discussion that I'm moderating at the event later this month.

The panel is called "Creative Conundrum: What Sucks and How Do We Fix It?"  and its objective is not just to speak aloud all the things we folks in the mobile media industry say in the privacy of hallways and on the phones, but to make the poor drones in the audience pick up their eyes from their laptops and Blackberries and pay attention for a change.

Joining me will be:

Russ Cox of Turner Broadcasting/The Cartoon Network
Jeremiah Zimm of MTV
Rob McDermott, manager of Linkin Park
and former Fox Mobile President Lucy Hood

All have been instructed to yell, scream, interrupt and make their points loudly.  This ain't no kiss-ass, agree-with-everyone-to-be-polite benign industry panel.

The bar has been set high, and I hope we pull it off.  But at least the inspiration is there at the start--when was the last time you went to an industry conference session with the word "Sucks" in the title,  not just in the evaluation?

Surprise Speech

Last Friday, I once again carried out my semi-regular gig of speaking to the marketing students at McGill University's Desautels School of Management, and what started out as the usual, free-flowing affair soon focused in on the topic of Surprise Marketing.

First of all, the students' interest in and challenging questions about the subject was profound (so chalk one up to the potential of Pow! becoming a College-level course). These young future leaders weren't just on the ball, they were hopping on it with one foot, doing backward flips and landing back on top with ease. An impressive bunch.

But two comments struck me hard during the 90-minute session.  The first was from a woman who, after about 45 minutes of "How To" examples, asked:

"Isn't Surprise Marketing just
customer relationship management?"

To which I responded: 

"Exactly.  But 'just'?"

I went on to explain that Surprise Marketing serves to delight its recipients,  which--if delightful enough--serves to solidify the bond between customer and marketer.  And I don't care WHAT business you are in, from a mom-and-pop corner store to a multinational, there is NOTHING more important than the bond between you and your customer.  Find a way to eternally concretize this bond and you'll never have another business worry.  Ever. 

But "eternal customer concretization" is easier said (even five times fast) than done.  And Surprise Marketing is a great start.

The other comment was from a regular at my McGill verbal barrages, and he said something that will forever change the way I see snowstorms.  As much as most of us whine and complain at their disruptive nature, this young man saw the Surprise element in them.

"It breaks us out of our routine," he said.
"You never know what's going to happen. 
You don't know how--if!--you're gonna get to school. 
You don't know who you'll help or who will help you. 
It's exciting to think of what lies ahead each time
your daily routine is thrown into disarray by a snowstorm."

Great reverse perspective thinking.  A candidate for the first Doctorate in Surprise Marketing, no doubt.

Anyway, the reaction to the talk has sparked me to put together a one-hour speech on the subject, a multi-media, show-and-tell, how-to, Pow!-sprinkled, thought-provoking, hyphen-laden extravaganza...

...which makes it debut (where else?)  closing out McGill's Management Graduate Business Conference on Friday, March 7.

Hope there's no snowstorm...

The Power of Labels

Two follow-ups from yesterday's post on flaunting wealth or thrift:

Alan Victor, President of Jack Victor (the internationally-renowned, 95-year-old, high-end men's fashion manufacturer) tells me that in China, men don't clip off the designer logo labels on the wrist-cuffs of their suits, but display them as a badge of prestige.

And speaking of China, and men's fashion, how's this for big balls?  The Beijing Silk Street Company, a clothing marketplace notorious for selling knock-offs and fake designer-labeled fashion and accessories, is starting its own line of brand-name products.

“For over 30 years we’ve always been selling other people’s clothes,” said George Wang, the market's GM. “We’ve never sold our own.”

As if that's not ballsy enough, Wang is cautioning counterfeiters to stay away from his Silk Street label, warning that rip-off artists will be dealt with "according to the law."

What law he did not elaborate, but you gotta give him major points for chutzpah.

Test This! (Trash Talk From A Guaranteed Winner)

The "news" is that next Sunday night, January 20th, at 8:00 p.m. eastern time, I will be appearing as a member of "The Bloggers" team on the live, nation-wide Test The Nation gameshow on the CBC in Canada. 

The format--team vs. team vs. the entire country-- is a great one, and has been a huge hit in the 40 nations in which it has aired.

But that's not the "story."

The story is, like Joe Namath in the 1967 Super Bowl (ask your parents), I am guaranteeing a win for my team.  Let me reiterate in big and bold:

I HEREBY GUARANTEE
"THE BLOGGERS" WILL WIN
CBC's TEST THE NATION

I am comfortable and confident in laying my reputation on the line for two reasons:  My team, and the competition. 

"The Bloggers" (listed at bottom) are the brilliant future of this country.  Don't ask how I lucked out to be part of this illustrious group of thinkers, commentators and rabble-rousers, but I did...and I fully intend to ride their dazzling coattails to an easy win.

Now, just look at the sorry bunch we're up against:

Celebrity Lookalikes--
Maybe one of you wannabes should've looked like Einstein instead.
Cab Drivers--
Read this blog post.  'Nuff said.  (But please hang out until the end of the show to drive us to our victory party.  That is, if you can find your way to the studio in the first place...)
Chefs--
Get into the kitchen; you can't stand the heat.
Flight Crews--
Sorry, no Auto-Pilots here, guys.  In your words, "Buh-bye!"
Backpackers--
No chance, greenies. 15 minutes under the lights in a TV studio and you'll be gasping for air.

Fightin'  words?  Of course.  But I'm prepared to back them up.

If, by some freak accident, The Bloggers actually don't win, I will agree to endure the humiliation of being spanked on air during the closing credits by co-host Wendy Mesley.  If Brent Bambury wants to join in, so be it.  (If you could think up a nastier payback, lemme know.)

Lemme take this even further.  In an email from show producer Molly Duignan last week, she said:

"...there is a $5000 Sunquest Vacations travel voucher for the highest scorer of all the in-studio participants on the Test!"

So, to sweeten the pot and double down on my bet, if by some fluke that the highest scorer in-studio is NOT a blogger, I will hand over a cheque of $500 made out to the charity of choice of the (very) lucky winner.

So there you have it.  Not just one guaranteed win, but two.  Crazy perhaps...but what did you expect from a guy who's blog starts with Pow!?

As promised, here's the list of next Sunday's winners, with links to their excellent blogs.

• Dan Arnold
• Jon Arnold (blog)
• Christopher Bird (blog)
• Buzz Bishop (blog)
• Rebecca Bollwitt (blog)
• Ryan Couldrey (blog)
• Ryan Cousineau (blog)
• Katharine Hay (blog)
• Jesse Hirsch (blog)
• David Jones (blog)
• Allyson Kenning (blog)
• John Klein
• Andree Lau (blog)
• Lainey Liu
• Amber Macarthur (blog)
• John Martz
• Hugh McGuire (blog)
• Mark McIntyre (blog)
• Patrick Metzger (blog)
• Ryan Porter (blog)
• Adam Schwabe
• Craig Silverman (blog)
• Julien Smith (blog)
• Allan Sorenson (blog)
• Rick Spence (blog)
• Graeme Stewart (blog)
• David Topping (blog)
• Kate Trgovac (blog)
• Rannie Turingan (blog)
• James Viloria (blog)
• Karen Whaley (blog)
• Frank Yang

See ya in the Winner's Circle!

Tag. I'm It!

While I'm trying not to divert your attention from the expansive, exhaustive Year-End Vacation Compilation post, this feelgood travel story just couldn't wait until I'm back in the office.

Whenever we travel by plane together, my two sons laugh at me for anal-retentively tagging each of my bags.  Not only do I ensure that every bag has my permanent Aeroplan Elite tags and the airline-issued baggage tag, but I also add those hand-written paper ones at every leg of the flight.  My bags end up looking like a French chandelier, but better be safe than sorry I always say.

Especially these days, because just after clearing security before catching my recent flight to Vail, I got a strange, Surprising call on my cellphone.

"Mr. Nulman, this is Air Canada calling."

Oh no.  What nightmare awaits me now?  I held my breath.

"It seems that somehow, the flight tag has fallen off one of your bags," the voice continued.  "Where are you exactly?"

"I'm heading to the gate," I answered. 

"What flight are you on?" he continued.

"The 7:50 to Denver," I replied.

"Fine, we have plenty of time.  The bag will meet you there."

"One thing...how did you know it was mine?"

"Well, I saw your name and phone number on the tag, so I figured I'd take a chance and see if I could get you before you left."

"Hmmm...one more question.  If you didn't have my name and number, what would've happened?"

"Well, we could've kept the bag here, and waited to hear for a lost luggage claim.  But because of the holiday rush, who knows when you would've received it."

By the way, the waylaid bag contained two pairs of snowboard boots, a mountain jacket and a helmet...things that, if missing, would've put quite the damper on a snowboarding vacation.

Particularly since they all belonged to...guess who?

My two sons!

Color My World...But Precisely

About a month ago in a similarly-named post about GoSmile White, I yammered about "Corporate-sponsored colors" (like Tiffany Blue, UPS Brown and Target Red) and suggested their rise is due to the fact that we are running out of inanimate objects (a la "peach" and "avacado") to name colors after.

Profound, no?

Well, methinks me worried too much, too soon.  Over in Paris (where else?) Jean-Gabriel Causse's uber-hip Bluebretzel has expanded the parameters of the rainbow by producing high-end cotton/cashmere t-shirts in unique hues such as "Mona Lisa's Eyes Brown," "Caviar Kaspia Beluga Caviar Black" or "Earth Blue as Seen by Apollo 17." 

This ain't no mere gimmick; the company painstakingly researches and matches the pigment of these iconic shades in a highly-complex, significantly scientific manner (check it out at left).

The end result is a t-shirt that sells for 60-75 Euros (depending on long or short sleeves), and is generating all sorts of buzz in the fashion world.

More importantly, a la Nudie Jeans, Causse (whose background is one of advertising, not fashion, go figure...) is breathing new life into a commodity product.  Not since Dov Charney's "Made in L.A./Sweatshop-Free" American Apparel has there been such a compelling "story" to tell about the lowly t-shirt.  When was the last time you bragged about yours?

Even more kudos to Causse--the Bluebretzel website not only explains the details of his color search, but is home to perhaps the friendliest, most intuitive and store-replicating shopping experience on the web.  Worth every minute of your time to check it out.

Better save up, though...

The Doors--Live and Loud (Speech Week #1)

As a follow-up to last month's Fall Week (posts from October 1 to 5; Surprise Central's version of Discovery Channel's "Shark Week"), for the next five days, all Pow! posts will focus on reflections I had before, during and after a speech I gave for MDS Nordion last week (by the way, I just set the Guinness World Record for most use of the word "week" in one sentence).

So, without any further ado, I bring you...

Speech Week!

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As most FOPs (Friends of Pow!) will tell ya, I speak at a lot of conferences.  Attend more than my fair share as well.  Most of them within the confines of  multi-doored, mega-structures called "Convention Centers."

So here's today's Question of Perplexion:

If these halls are built for speeches,
why the hell are the doors within 'em
so interruptively, obnoxiously LOUD?

It boggles the mind.  It seems that the smaller the meeting room, the louder the Kerchunk! of the handle and the longer the hydraulic wheeeeeeze of the door itself as it opens and closes.  It's like an alarm that signals "I have to pee," "The speaker is boring"...or worse.

The result is a pain in the ass for everyone involved, particularly those on stage who are disrupted not only by the doors themselves, but by the headturning and general reaction of those in the room as THEY react to the noise.

Time Magazine just named the iPhone as Invention of the Year for 2007. 

Well, if you get started now, and come up with a silent door for meeting rooms across this land, you will get my vote for 2008.

And gratitude from speakers and audiences everywhere.

Color My World

Kudos to the folks at GoSmile, the teeth-whitening system which recently entered the Pantone Matching System with a shade called "GoSmile White." 

(I used the stuff earlier this year, and while the ampoules were cool, the toothpaste--while outrageously expensive--was out of this world.  Worked pretty well, too.)

Jeez, you can't ask for better marketing than that, being the standard-bearer for the color white.  I bet the detergent marketing people at P&G are kicking themselves for missing the boat on this one...

Along with Tiffany Blue, UPS Brown and Target Red, GoSmile White is part of the new breed of corporate "sponsored" shades; the natural progression, I suppose when we've run out of inanimate objects to name colors after.  I mean, which came first, the colors Peach and Avocado, or the edible orbs they are named after?  Yet another question for the ages...

If this keeps up, Kenneth Cole Black may be "the new black"...

And let's not forget about Pow! Crimson...

The Day The Music Didn't Really Die

Two things I love:

1. A contrarian viewpoint
2. A good fight

So imagine my glee as I get to enjoy both at the same time with the recent brouhaha over the Radiohead "pay what you want" download concept and Madonna's $120 million "360-degree" full service deal with Live Nation.

Both deals saw headline performers eschew their longtime record labels for an independent route, which last week's Entertainment Weekly called in a cover-page shout out:

"The Week That Changed Music."

Meanwhile (here comes the contrarian and fight part), over in last week's Billboard Magazine, Exec Editor Bill Werde writes a very heartfelt and headsmart piece entitled:

"Contemplating Two Weeks
in The Music Biz--
That Changed Nothing."

While reading the full piece is time well spent, here are some of the highlights:

"It's true, the majors are in a bad spot...the big four still lean heavily on the blockbuster, and as contracts for legacy artists expire, many will be tempted by other arrangements.

"But while the mainstream media churns out articles explaining how the Internet enables artists to go labelless, the situation is more complex.  The Internet doesn't make celebrities.  The Internet is a distribution platform.  And now that celebrities are reaching the end of their label contracts, it makes financial sense for them to take their celebrity out the door.

"If Radiohead were a new band, how much attention would they have received for their efforts?

Werde makes a valid point.  Some things easy to do when you're backstopped with money and recognition.  But to those tens of thousands of bands plugging themselves on their MySpace sites, it may be noble for them to buck the system...but it doesn't make it any easier for them to make a real living. 

Werde goes on to use the ubiquitous Tila Tequila as an example.  The self-proclaimed "Queen of My Space," with over 2 million friends in her social network, could only muster less than 1,000 downloads of her new single the first week of its release.  Christ, even my off-tune rendition of Green Day's American Idiot (and there ain't no link coming, folks) could do numbers like that with a banner ad or two here at Pow!...

Look, despite my love of the music biz and a jaw-dropping collection of recordings ranging from Edison cylinders to MP3s, I'm no expert in it.  But with a history in selling stuff to an audience--both at Just For Laughs and with Airborne--I know that the most important driver of any consumer-touching company is a hit.   

Be you a restaurant, a seller of waste-paper baskets, a fashion designer, a blogger or a monopolistic software behemoth (Microsoft's Steve Ballmer, at the recent Masters of Marketing Conference, bemoaned: "We need hits.  Whatever a hit is, we need it!"), a hit product drives your business...and eventually gives you enough power to "eliminate the middleman" a la Radiohead and Madonna and so many more to come.

If the record labels go away, someone's gonna have to find a way to make musical hits.  And I ain't talking languishing on the Long Tail with a few hundred sold here and there; I'm talking mass-market, on-everyone's-lips, soundtracks-of-our-lives songs. 

Without them, there won't be anymore aging superstars to give their music away for nothing or for Live Nation to sign.

And no more knockdown debates over game-changing deals.

Free For All Pays Off

Did you hear that smashing sound?

On Tuesday at the CTIA conference, I broke a carved-in-stone vow when I appeared on stage as part of a panel discussion.

I had sworn off ever being part of another panel since a travesty of a Youth Marketing conference in L.A. in April. 

And for good reason. 

Most panels discussions are not. 

They are a falsely polite borefests where people speak one after the other for 5-10 minutes while the remaining panelists sit in stultifying silence waiting their turn. To make matters worse, most close with the perfunctory Q&A session...where there are few "Q"s and even fewer "A"s. 

Add to this mess a moderator who is either cluelessly unfamiliar with the panelists, or so filled with his own agenda he (and most are males) ignores those sitting next to him and delivers his own long-winded diatribe instead.

A recipe for irrelevance and disaster.  And one I'm not willing to partake in anymore. 

Give me keynotes, or give me death!

The reason I acquiesced was a promise made by my buddy Antony Bruno, the Exec Director of Billboard's Digital/Mobile Conferences.  He vowed that this would be a "different" kind of panel; one with no theme, no structure, no form and no holds barred.  It was his "experiment," he said, one positioned at the end of the day, with little to lose except about an hour.

Well, never mind "nothing to lose," there was everything to gain. The session, amazingly, ended up as a WIN-WIN-WIN, for those involved on stage, for the audience, and for Billboard Event folks.

This was an anomaly right from the start, where the standard bottled water before each speaker was replaced by six-packs of Heineken and Coors (full disclosure: this lunacy was my idea, was fully funded by Airborne Entertainment, and was in no way sanctioned by Billboard or CTIA...as if!), which were shared by audience members brave enough to take us up on our offer of "Free Beer!"

And once the ice was broken by a question from the audience, the session became a rollicking free-for-all where people shouted, argued, pointed fingers at each other, laughed, challenged us, fought with and supported one another.  They even gave broke into a spontaneous applause break when an audience member--Maggie Roswell, a vocal actor who does voices for The Simpsons--was challenged to do said voices, and rattled off about 15 well-recognized characters in a breathless minute (including the infamous Shary Bobbins, shown at right).

Meanwhile, up on stage, myself and three compadres needled, interrupted, ganged up on, and occasionally agreed with, each other.  At the end of the session, which went over its time limit by 15 minutes and would've kept going had we not stopped it, WE got out of our seats and gave the audience a standing ovation for being such spirited and hearty participants in this most unique of conference experiences.

What a blast!  And what buzz when it was all over. 

While smaller than some of the keynote sessions that dominated the day, EVERYONE at this free-form experiment was engaged in the conversation or debate. 

Compare this to what I witnessed throughout the day, where the audience paid WAY more attention to  their BlackBerries or laptops (or to the buffet table, as was embarrassingly the case when Quincy Jones was being interviewed) than to what was going on onstage. 

This is the difference between "Talk With You" and "Talk At You."  Who wants to merely listen when you can actively participate?

And while this took guts to try, it's gonna take even more guts to continue.

To be continued...I hope.

The Magic Car's Lesson (Fall #5)

So, as Fall Week comes to a close at Surprise Central, here's the lesson emanating from yesterday's diatribe about my Corvette:

It Pays To Stand Out

"Generating Surprise" is a tactic. It's an incredibly effective one, and the inspiration for this blog, but just a tactic.  It belongs to the greater strategy of "Attracting Attention."  And that's a key strategy to survive in today's hyper-competitive biz world.  Other than the CIA, I don't care what business you are in--going unnoticed is the highway to going broke. 

Back to the Vette for a second.  My office at Airborne has an underground garage with a dangerously steep driveway that peaks and opens onto a bar-and-restaurant-filled pedestrian mall called Prince Arthur Street.  I have two cars, a black Jaguar X-Type and the aforementioned Vette.  When I roar up the driveway in the Jag, nobody gives me a second look (unless I almost run someone over at the top).  I am anonymous. 

But when I do the same in the Vette, all the action on the street freezes.  The car is a retina-magnet, a conversation starter, a target for pointed fingers.  People instinctively gather around, start to chat, give me the thumbs up (for some strange reason).  It adds at least five minutes to the journey every time I leave work.

Such is the power of drawing attention, of standing out.

And remember, this car is close to a half-century old.  Most people on the cusp of 50 are starting to slow down, to gravitate towards beige and boring.  The Vette shows that audacious old guys can still cut it.  To that end, I saw two older gentlemen this week.  One wore a shapeless pair of khakis and an off-white, long-sleeved polo shirt.  The other wore a navy blue sport jacket, red flower in his lapel, and an aqua blue cap. 

• Who do you think attracted more eyeballs? 
• Who would you think has better tales to tell? 
• Who would YOU rather hang out with?

Rhonda Byrne made a fortune with her book The Secret, which she says "reveals the most powerful law in the universe."  That law is one called The Law Of Attraction.

But as much as you wait for it, Attraction doesn't come on its own.  You have to draw it out.  You have to be the worm on the hook, jiggling for the eyes to bite.

And the only way to do that is to stand out from the crowd.

Not everyone can drive a classic Vette.  Or wear a turquoise hat.

In fact, it can be quite intimidating trying to stand out.  But it can be done. 

Lemme put it another way--it MUST be done.

I'm taking the weekend off, but next week, I'll be back with a short primer telling you how to do it.

Right now, I'm off to take the car to its winter resting spot.

The Magic Car (Fall #4)

Forget the season's solstice; there are two key events that truly, officially mark the beginning of Fall:

1. My biz partner Garner wears shoes instead of sandals to the office
2. I finally acquiesce and put my beloved Corvette convertible away for the winter

I can't speak for Garner, but I know I try to postpone the inevitable for as long as possible.  But over the past week or so, the increasingly chilly weather made it hard to drive the 'Vette at night and morning, and even on sunny afternoon, there's a substantial bite in the open air.  The end is near for '07.

Now, people who know me can't believe I can be so attached to a piece of metal (well, fiberglass in my case), 'cuz I am not one of those obsessive creatures known as a "car guy."

I'm an aesthetic guy, a surprise guy. 

And that's what makes my convertible such a great companion.

You see, it's more than a mere automobile.  It's a Magic Car.  Really. 

No matter where I go with it, it brightens people's moods. It inspires upbeatness.  Everyone smiles.  

Ev-er-y-one.

From burly, menacing Hell's Angels to curious Chassidic Rabbis.  From little old ladies to major babes. From gearheads to eggheads.  Kids ask to pose for pictures with it ("It's a superhero car!" one kid cried), and producers have asked to use it in movies (Yeah, right! Like I'm gonna let you drive it...).  I can't tell you how many times people have asked to buy it.

And no matter where I go, people stop me, roll down their windows, shout from balconies and ask me the same three questions:

"What year is it?"
    (Answer: 1960)
"How big is the engine?"
    (Answer: No clue...whatever you say)
"Is it the original paint?"
    (This one kills me....I just say "Yeah")

What's more, the Vette inspires no envy.  People tend to adopt it and treat it like it's their own.  Once, outside a restaurant, my son and I watched as some guy admired the car, then reached inside to pick out some of the early autumn leaves that had fallen on my seats.  Another time, outside a chi-chi designer's store, a girl ripped into a guy who just so happened to park his Ferrari behind my car.  "If you wanna impress someone, park behind a Chrysler mini van," she screamed for some bizarre reason.  "This car beats your car's ass!"  Thank God he didn't beat hers...or mine.

As hot as this car is, it's a simple piece of work.  No power anything.  Roll-down windows that don't roll down all the way.  Steering that's a better workout than my gym regime.  All powered by an engine, while big and roaring, that's positively Flinstonian compared to its modern-day brethren.

Still, this car turns heads whiplash fast.  And there's a lesson to be learned from all this.  But I've rambled on way too long today.  I'll learn ya the lesson tomorrow. 

Until then, parked outside Montreal's fabled summer hot rod hangout The Orange Julep, here is my Vette (with my son Hayes in the driver's seat) in all its glory.

 

Gettin' Up For Good (Fall #3)

Buried within yesterday's post was a reference to the slogan "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up," made famous (infamous?) by those cheesy Life Alert TV ads of the '90s. 

Well, after doing a wee bit of research, the team at Surprise Central wore its face of shock when it discovered that the USA Today, in a series of lists compiled to celebrate its 25th Anniversary, named the ad and its catchphrase as the #1 TV ad "We Can't Get Out of Our Heads."

While there is a difference between being memorable and being tortuously emblazoned upon our frontal lobes so that we'll never forget it, but a win's a win, I guess.

To show our respect, the entire crew here is spending the rest of the day on the floor.

Chinese Take-Out

I've always had a saying about business trouble:

A problem is not a problem
...until it hits Main Street.

Well, given what I witnessed during a trip to Wal-Mart a couple days ago, this whole China "Tainted Toys" thing is a problem.
A big, big problem.

I was in the pet section and watched two people poring over the dog toys.  They were examining the labels like a scientist examines specimens under a microscope.  They dismissed the painted squeaky rubber toys outright, and after a few minutes of contemplation, they did the same to the stuffed animals and the rope toys. 

Total toy purchase: nothing.

Guarantee you one thing--this was not an isolated incident. 

If people are taking this much care over playthings for their pets, you know that this has some serious consumer ramifications.

Over 80% of all toys sold worldwide--for kids and for dogs and cats--are made in China.  Today.  Who knows, if Main Street speaks loud enough, pretty soon we could be in-sourcing our production right back to all the places we took it away from.

Beijing SHOULD be trembling, and if I were a betting man, I'd bet on a wave of "Made Here" hang-tags appearing on products everywhere, and soon.

"Local" is soon gonna be "The New Green."

The High Holidays (What Was I Smoking?)

Today is the halfway point between the almighty bookends of the high Jewish Holidays of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.  And as I sat in synagogue celebrating the former last week, I recalled one of my favorite Surprise stories; one which demonstrates that sometimes, one man's Surprise is another man's heart attack.

Well, close to it.

In a nutshell, last year, the elders at my synagogue contacted me to help them out on their annual Cantorial concert. Now for those of you not familiar with the concept, traditional Cantorials are filled with traditional religious songs sung by Cantors...hence the name. Been done the same way for centuries.

Obviously, I was called upon to do something different.  My concept was a quasi-blasphemous twisting of the concert called--are you sitting?--Cantorama!

While it would feature many of the renowned traditional religious songs, they were to be sped up a bit and backed by a whup-ass rock band.   

And since most Cantors are blessed with versatile, booming voices, the plan was to have them singing pop standards and show tunes, but backed by the congregation's choir, with some of the musical arrangements changed to a more standard Jewish/Klezmer sound, including heritage Jewish instruments.  All in all, the goal was to turn the concept upside down.

Well, the Cantors loved it.  Gave them a chance to stretch their wings, their vocal chords, and have a bit of fun.  But the people who had to lead the orchestra, sell the tickets, and face the congregants were aghast. "Over my dead body!" many said.  And given the intensity of the yelling match Talmudic debate that ensued, it almost came to that.

So basically, Cantorama only got as far as my head...and the poster mock-up shown here.  But every time I heard the ceremonial blast of the shofar last week, I couldn't help but think how cool it would've sounded alongside a trumpet, sax and trombone.

Not for everyone's tastes, but trust me, it would've been un-ignorable.

One day...

Best Original Screen Play

I have giant plasmas and LCD TVs at home, with surround sound that penetrates my body like a sigmoidoscope. 

I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want to, with whomever I choose to.

That said, no matter what I'm watching, it still ain't "A Night at the Movies." 

Going to the movies is an experience!

Well, it should be.

And to that end, as promised Monday, this post about how to make it one. 

To show how easy this really could be, let's keep all the cinema "hardware" constant--the seats, the screens, the food, the box office...even the films themselves.

The only thing I'll change (for now, ha ha!) is the opening scenario.  So let's walk through it together. 

Let's imagine that we've entered the theater, taken our seats, and endured those chintzy trivia questions, the ads and the previews.  Suddenly, the screen fades to dark, a musical flourish rings throughout, and a spotlight hits a person, an actual live person with a mic, standing in front of the screen.

Imagine him, or her, kicking off the show by saying this to you:

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Nulman Multiplex and the 9:10 p.m. screening of Pan's Labyrinth.

"Our statistics show that our 9 o'clock screenings are our most popular, so please try to make room for all of your fellow film lovers who have bought tickets.

If you have to go to the bathroom, you have 90 seconds starting about now...so if you hurry, you can be back for my grand exit.  Anybody have any questions before I go on?"

More than just an "intro," this serves as start of a new kind of cinematic relationship.  The silliness of the bathroom joke/mention breaks the ice, and puts people at ease. The brave of the bunch may actually pose a question or two, graduating the moment to interactive status. Now it's time to bring people together with some soft-peddling of the usual warning announcements.

"Going to the movies is a shared journey, so let's make it a pleasant one for all of us.  Do each other a favor and turn off your cellphones, unwrap all your candies and gum, and whisper some last words, because for the next two hours, the only noise you should hear is the sound from our 27 speakers. 

"Okay, and your own shrieks of delight...

"And remember, not only is film piracy a bummer, but it's illegal.  But we know that none of you here would be foolish enough to do something so uncool, right?"

Again, a bit of interactivity.  And the hard stuff is out of the way.  Now, it's time to set up the experience with some inside info.

"You people are in for a real treat tonight.  This film has been nominated for the Best Foreign Picture Oscar, and although it's subtitled, the incredible story, the amazing performances and the eye-popping--literally eye-popping!--special effects will make the dialog come alive loud and clear in your heads.

"Something you may not know about this film is that director Guillermo del Toro insisted on building the whole mill set from scratch, to ensure proper camera angles and atmosphere. 

"Look out for Doug Jones, a mime who plays two integral roles: the Faun and the Pale Man monster.  He'll show you why they call this 'An Adult Fairy Tale Nightmare'.

"And by the way, who's sitting in row 17, aisle seat?  Well, this is for you...a card that entitles you to a free large popcorn every time you see a movie here.  Enjoy!"

Oooh!  Sneak previews!  Something to look out for!  A bit of Pow! (Well, what did you expect?) And now the close.  Just about every museum, theme park ride, even church, in the world ensures that nobody leaves without a chance to upsell 'em on something.  So why should cinemas be any different?  Consider this, then:

"So get ready for a wild cinematic ride.  And don't forget, on your way out, you can pick up the film's soundtrack, a 'Making Of' DVD, or advance tickets to The Simpsons Movie at our 'See You Next Time' booth.

Well, it's time.  Ladies and gentlemen, the Nulman Multiplex is proud to present...Pan's Labyrinth!

Okay, so I won't win the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. 

But the cost of this screen playing?  A few bucks. 

The benefits?  A multitude, starting with the conversion of what is now akin to herding cattle into something that's informative and personal.  Should be good for the bottom line as well, with additional revenue-generating opportunities.

It's not easy.  Not every multiplex employee has the composure or spirit to pull this off.  But with so many out-of-work or wannabe actors and comedians around, I think that this gig would be a cool one...and better than waiting tables.

So there you have it.  The way things would be done at MY moviehouse.

My work here is done.  I think I'll go grab a bag of popcorn.

Pre-Film Fuss at the Fest

Just back from Toronto where, in between the bizdev and the partying, I managed to catch five films.

Now most films at TIFF (what folks in-da-know now call the Toronto International Film Fest) are more than your standard Friday Night At The Multiplex variety. Here's the drill:

--A podium is wheeled to centre-screen.

--A member of the TIFF Programming team welcomes you, thanks the sponsors, gives you the "Don't pirate this movie!" warning, and then introduces the film's director. 

--The director says a couple words (in the case of Ang Lee, very touching; in the case of The Coen Brothers, shyly mumbled)

--The director then introduces the film's producers and stars.  The ensuring result ranges from polite applause (let's say for the international cast of Fugitive Pieces) to insane pandemonium (when The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford's Brad Pitt hit the stage).

--Then they wheel the podium off, and roll out a few more thanks and promos (to volunteers and more sponsors) on screen. 

--Finally, the film begins.

Now I have no problem with this.  Masters must be served, even at--especially at!--$49 a ticket.  And other than the annual Robert Lantos marathon, most of these go for about five minutes. 

But after five of 'em, I couldn't help thinking that there must be a better way.  And not just for these high-falutin' festivals, either.  What I propose could be--should be!--added to all film screenings everywhere for a bit of added drama and added value and added FUN for the people who love movies.

So, as a service to my very glamorous and impeccably-dressed friends Piers Handling and Michèle Maheux, co-directors of the TIFFany of all Film Festivals, I offer the following advice-slash-opening scenario.

But in the great tradition of Hollywood...it's a cliffhanger. 

Tune in Wednesday to discover what it's all about.

Branded (A Low Go...)

No matter what success I've enjoyed with Airborne, no matter what I do for the community, no matter how prolifically I blog, my time running Just For Laughs has left an indelible imprint on my "Personal Brand" (as Mitch Joel would call it).  Despite the fact that I left the event eight years ago, people still stop me in airports, in shopping malls or on busy streets and ask me to "say something funny" or--worse still--regale me with a joke...or eight.

However, after running into author Naomi Klein in the airport yesterday, I realize life could be much worse. 

On the road plugging her new book "The Shock Doctrine," the brainy agent provocateur is best known for her rabble-rousing tome "No Logo," which brings me--at long last!--to the point of this post.

As she passed by the check-in gate, one well-dressed woman turned to her equally well-dressed friend and sniffed:

"Psst...look.  That's Naomi Klein, the writer. 

No Logo?  Yeah right, just check out her jeans!"

Suddenly, telling jokes doesn't seem all that bad...

The Luxury of Self-Expression

Got a couple of emails (should use the comment box, folks!) about last week's post on wildman jeweler Franco Pianeconda.

In essence, the question being asked was: "How could a guy sell ultra-expensive jewelry with such a madcap, street-level attitude?"

The answer my friends, is not blowing in the wind, but through the pages of this month's Fast Company magazine, particularly in Dan and Chip Heath's "Made to Stick" column.

In it, they explain:

"Luxury has become more about
personal pleasure and self-expression
and less about status."

In other words, the Pianeconda attitude is more valuable than the jewelry.  But you need the latter to ooze the former.

They go onto take this one step further:

"Luxury goods...are the mark of connoisseurship.  But connoisseurship only works when you are recognized
as a connoisseur. 

"A connoisseur lives to be recognized
by fellow aficionados."

Pianeconda appeals to a certain few; the few who would probably be ignored or eschewed by a hoity-toity Cartier-wearer, but embraced by those "in the know" of his style and mind-set.  Kinda like the Chrome Hearts line of "screw you" accessories (if you have to ask, you don't wanna know).

Crazy, off-beat and inherently Surprising...but not unexpected in a world where the more beat up and skanky your jeans are, the more they cost.

A Little Taste of Something Sweet

So here's what usually happens: 

Big meal, I'm full, but the seductive temptress called dessert comes around. Although I say "I just wanna little taste of sumpin' sweet," I end up regretting the results 500 or so calories later.

To the rescue of my waistline and my workout regime comes Sinfully Delicious Gourmet Dessert Sprays, a shpritz that's free of sugar, fat and calories, but apparently bursting with flavor (or make that flavors, as the sprays vary from milk chocolate turtle to cinnamon apple and key lime pie to strawberry cheescake).

The Surprising innovation, from Atlanta's Innovative Candy Concepts, retails for $3.50; about the price of a slice of the sin it replaces.   And while very Jetsons-like in theory, I'm wondering if in practice this tongue tease will satisfy a sweet-tooth's craving...or (perish the thought!) actually amplify it?

For me to try...and for you to find out once I do.

(And if this DOES work, imagine the possibilities--full spray meals, samplers for food you're afraid of trying, special Holiday-themed sprays, like Eggnog for Christmas, turkey for Thanksgiving or even Maror for Passover.)

20:20 Vision

It's called 20ltd.

I thought I'd be over this one by now, but I keep going back.  Again and again.

It's the Internet's first true luxury boutique.  Frankly, I think it's the best shopping destination on the entire WWW (particularly if you're into Surprise).

Because there's always a reason to go return. Only twenty different items on sale at any one time (that's the 20 part).

And each one is an EXTREMELY limited edition, made exclusively for the site.  You can't get them anywhere else on earth.  Once they're gone, they're replaced by something else (that's the Ltd. part). 

These guys really get it.  Minimalist design.  Sharp, snappy text.  Luscious photos.  Great music, too.  And they never wane from the 20 concept (not just in products, but in overall look-and-feel).

The antithesis of Amazon.com.  A supreme shopping experience.

20Ltd. does for web retailing what the Apple Store did to brick-and-mortar retailing.

Now if I could only afford some of the stuff...

Wild Thing, I Think They Love Ya

The Investment Bank world is abuzz about a sell-aide analyst from Lazard Capital Markets named Joel Sendek (any relation to Max, of Where The Wild Things Are fame?  Sure hope so...).  That's him below.

Joel's day job is researching biotech companies, making calls whether investors in this roller-coaster risky sector should buy, sell, or hold their positions.  And while his EPS Est. Accuracy record is an impressive Four Stars, that's not what has people talking.

What does is how he delivers the news.  His voicemails are legendary, first starting out using terminology more at home in creative writing class than in the staid banking world.  This led to rhyming phrases and full-fledged poems as research reports. 

And when that started to get old hat, Joel actually started to sing 'em, parodying Don McLean's American Pie, as well as tunes from Louis Armstrong, The Stones and Bruce Springsteen.

Unconventional and perhaps not everyone's cup of tea, particularly on Wall Street.  But as one client admitted:

"You get so many
voicemails, and they all say the same thing.
His are a nice, goofy ray of hope in a legion of doom."

If Fortune magazine can gush all over him, and if the Investment Banking world can accept Sendek's approach (Lazard approves of it, obviously), ask yourself why the hell yours can't the next time you wanna bring some Pow! to the table.

The 44th Thing

Holy Jeez!  Just as I'm about to turn in for the night, Airborne colleague Dennis "Dr. D" McFern sends over this ultra-addictive site:

www.43things.com

Fascinating to see what the collective wish list holds, and how much we all have in common. While some of the objectives are kinda commonplace, others are poignant and heartbreaking. Others still have exposed me to things I never even knew existed (like Demonoid, for example).

Well, now, it's past 1:00 a.m., I've got to be up in five hours, and I'm into 43 Things so deep, I can drown in its digits.

And I haven't even begun my OWN list yet... 

My 44th thing?  Quitting 43things.com!

 

Not So Loud

Well...it kinda worked.

Concerned FOPs, and a multitude of confused first-time visitors, will be pleased to learn that yesterday's operation was a half-success.

Half because what was supposed to be a permanent fix will improve my left-ear hearing marginally, and for an unspecified "while."  (Note to Nick and Frank--don't throw that hearing aid away just yet; put it in a place where we can easily find it someday.)

Half because Dr. Jamie Rappaport discovered that the all-important nerve that controls all my facial muscles was too effin' precariously close to his operating area.  Uhh, too risky, said he.

Good call, Dr. Jamie!

And while not being able to smile or blink anymore would've made me a perfect candidate to be a judge on American Idol or America's Got Talent (or serve in America's Senate), it would perhaps render me less effective doing things like running Airborne Entertainment, giving rousing motivational speeches, playing goalie, being a Dad, directing the Just For Laughs Gala Shows...you know, somewhat important stuff like that.

So, you may still need to shout at me once in a while.

But at least I will still be able to smile at your exasperation...and blink as I feign to not understand what the hell you're screaming about.

(We now return to this Blog to its regularly-scheduled subject matter...)

 

Quotations of Chairman Pow!

If there was any doubt that business has entered a wild new era, it was sent to its eternal rest with this sentence, said in all seriousness and taken from a story in this month's Business 2.0:

"Unlike its rival Qoop,
Moo can put a different image
on each of the 100 MiniCards
in a $20 order."

Poor Qoop!  Once again upstaged by Moo.  Boo-effin'-hoo.

Pretty soon, we'll be running out of wacky corporate names, and we'll identify our corporate selves by noises.

On that note, for Airborne, I'm registering Whooooossshh!

And a big Mofo Booom! for this here blog.

Tide On The Menu

Had lunch with Airborne's COO Andrew "The Z" Zeidel yesterday, and on the last bite of his salad, he dropped a brown glob of balsamic vinegar dressing on his crisp, blue shirt.

His immediate reaction was to jump for the napkin and water, but--knowing his extreme anal-retentive preparedness--I asked if he happened to have a Tide toGo pen on him.   

He had never heard of one, but after I explained how Tide toGo saved my life after I dripped rusty red tortilla soup on a never-before-worn Egyptian cotton shirt at the start of a day of crucial meetings in L.A.last month, he was intrigued.

So, hoping for an extreme Pow! moment, I asked Melanie, our waitress at The Shed, if the restaurant happened to have one on hand. 

Unfortunately for The Z, it was not meant to be.  Dry cleaners, here we come.

So here's the point of this ramble:

Tide toGo pens
should be
STANDARD EQUIPMENT
in ALL restaurants!

Just think about it for a second--where do most food-related spills occur?   Where there's food, of course.  And other than the kitchen, I can't think of a place with more food than restaurants (okay, there's farms and supermarkets, but you get my point).

Consider the incredible goodwill generated from a couple of rubs of Tide's magic wand at your table as you fret over the wine stain, the grease stain, or the mustard stain--increased tips for the wait staff and great word-of-mouth buzz (are you listening Andy Sernovitz?) for the restaurant.  Why, you may even have a story for the Tide toGo website!

So restaurant owners, add a few of these thingamajigs to your next supply order.

Or better still, perhaps A.G. Lafley of Tide's parent co. Procter and Gamble could expand his market and send restaurant owners a few hundred thousand samples.

Another valuable public service from Surprise Central--staining cherished clothes since 1959.

Furniture of Dreams...Very WEIRD Dreams

The problem with furniture is that so much of it is the usual, the standard...and ultimately, the boring. 

My wife and I recently re-did our bedroom, and while we found the hippest of beds (an elevated canopy model handmade entirely of wood and twigs by the Pennsylvania Amish.  Seriously.), it was quite the Quixotic quest to find night-tables and other "storage pieces" of equivalent Pow! factor.

Should've found Judson Beaumont earlier, I guess.  This guy creates the type of stuff I once only dreamed of...AFTER reading a Dr. Seuss book, taking in the collective works of Salvador Dali and eating some very special mushrooms.

Judson's from Vancouver, and you know there's something special in the air out there.  If you can't find room in your home or your head for his pieces, he has put together a book of 'em, one that's as enlightening and eye-opening as The Secret...and way more entertaining

There's much more where this came from.  Check out straightlinedesigns.com for more twisted inspiration.

Coming Up Clean

Off to New York for the weekend, so I'll leave you in the hands of a great FOP (that's "Friend of Pow!" for all you non-FOPs) Jean-Francois Garneau, who sends along this culture clash of cleanliness:

Hi Andy,
 
Ever since I read your "Words that don't travel" post on your blog, I have been quietly chuckling every time I thought of "Slutspurt". It stayed with me. I used the word in a few presentations since then. It breaks the ice nicely ! Even writing this, it makes me smile.

That's why when I saw this box of detergent powder (see left) I couldn't resist buying it ! This is definitely a brand that doesn't travel!

The detergent is available right here in Montreal at Marché Akhavan on Sherbrooke West.

Please note also the side of the box, which may not be readable on my photo, states :

"Barf will get your clothes amazingly clean.

To obtain best results of Barf, particularly on very dirty clothes, proceed as follows : soak the clothes in a solution of Barf for a few hours or preferably overnight and then wash as usual.

Use Barf for washing woolen polyester, cottons and fine fabrics. Barf is safe for all washable fabrics."

Can't make this stuff up.

Cheers,

J-F Garneau

p.s. Big fan of the blog.

So lemme see...toss in the whites and they come out brownish with chunks?  Uh, I'll stick with Tide and Bounce, thank you.

May be livebogging via the Berry over the weekend.  If not, speak to y'all Tuesday or so.

 

MKTG 1.0

Holy Jeez!  Where was Thomson Higher Education when I was going to school?

In an inspired coup, these guys are planning to use a little marketing savvy to teach the discipline itself by trimming down the usual cornerstone-sized (and weighted), snooze-inciting textbooks into a 352-page, 8 x 10 softcover called MKTG. 

More like a magazine than the dull, backbreaking doorstoppers I had to lug around throughout college and university, MKTG's publishers describe it as a "brief paperback that includes a suite of learning aids to accommodate the busy and diverse lifestyles of today’s learners, like flash cards and downloads for audio, video and cell phones."  Thomson's Neil Marquardt sums it up succinctly by saying: "The idea was to re-evaluate where we were as a content provider, not just a textbook publisher."

The company backs it up with websites for those lucky enough to teach, and learn, from it.  You can see them all, as well as an impressive flash demo, by clicking here.

The book is ready for this year's summer courses.  And considering how poorly my goaltending has been these days, perhaps my Monday nights in July and August would be better spent with one of the above at McGill instead of on the ice in DDO.